Quotes

• Civilization will not attain perfection until the last stone, from the last church, falls on the last priest. [more: 1 2]
• To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
• And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!"
• Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
• May those who love us love us, and those who do not love us, may God turn their hearts, and if He cannot turn their hearts may He turn their ankles, that we may know them by their limping.
• The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
• Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
• There are two different kinds of people in this world: those who finish what they start, and"
• If you can't sleep, try lying on the end of the bed. Then you might drop off.
• Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.
• Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
• Classic- a book which people praise and don't read.
• The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
• If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.
• Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control..
• The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
• It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
• The old age: First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

The content for this post is not static and the author will keep updating it as he finds more interesting stuff. The readers are invited to add to it.